


Beyond Belief: When Family Calls

by w00t4ewan



Category: Addams Family - All Media Types, The Thrilling Adventure Hour
Genre: Beyond Belief, Crossover, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-24 21:33:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3785008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/w00t4ewan/pseuds/w00t4ewan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank and Sadie are charged to take care of their niece and nephew for the weekend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beyond Belief: When Family Calls

"Frank, that was my sister, Lucy, on the phone. Wednesday and Pugsley will be staying with us for the weekend," Sadie explained as she filled her empty martini glass. 

"Say darling, do we know a Wednesday and Pugsley?" Frank asked as he ran his thumb and forefinger over his mustache pensively. 

"Yes dear, they are my sister's children."

"Not ringing any bells"

"They are wretched littlest creatures."

"No nothing," Frank focused on his nearly empty glass as he tried to remember of whom Sadie was speaking. 

"They enjoy killing things and dark magic."

"Nearly there..."

"They have a knack for raising the dead and dismembering the zombies."

"So very close, I can almost remember them."

"Last time they visited they brought a case of fine scotch as a thank you present"

"WEDNESDAY AND PUGSLEY ADDAMS! how are the two terrors?" 

"Fine but it seems like Lucy has come down with a case of seasonal ecstasy and does not want the children to catch it," Sadie explained as she topped off their drinks,  making a small toast to Frank for finally remembering her niece and nephew. 

"All is well and good Sadie love, what harm could come from watching a couple of children for the weekend?" 

"Not nearly as much trouble as you'll be in if you don't refill my glass!" Sadie giggled.  Frank obliged and they spent the afternoon enjoying the company of one another and their martini's until finally there was a knock on the door.

"Why Luciferna Morticia Parker Addams! You haven't aged a day!" Sadie exclaimed as she kissed her sister on the cheek. "You look radiant darling!"

"It's this damned illness,  makes me look vivacious. It's terrible! I've been nursing myself back to hell with arsenic martinis and nightshade tincture but it's a slow going process. Thanks for keeping the children for me. I'd hate to see them catch this awful malady," Lucy moved aside and produced her two children who were carrying a case of liquor between them.

"Ahh what well prepared little sports!" Frank delighted as he motioned them over to the bar. 

"Hello Auntie Sadie. Uncle Frank," Wednesday replied as she unpacked the contents of the wooden crate onto a nearby shelf of the floor to ceiling liquor cabinet. 

"Can we play with the Ouija board?" Pugsley asked excitedly. 

"Even better, if you're good I'll let you play with Chekhov's gun! I just won it at auction! I keep it here in Freud's cigar box," Frank boasted showing off his newly acquired possession. Wednesday and Pugsley rushed to his side to see the firearm.

"Alright,  Lucy. Back to the dungeon with you! Feel worse darling!  Ta ta!" Sadie beamed as she ushered her sister out the front door.

"Well then children, what are young humans into nowadays? Care for a drink?" Frank offered. 

"Frank darling, do not offer the children alcohol. They drink things like milk from the kitchen, " Sadie retorted, happy to know a helpful fact about human offspring. 

"Say Sadie, do we have a kitchen?"

"Don't worry Uncle Frank. We can take care of ourselves. I'm nearly seventeen now and Pugsley isn't far behind," Wednesday explained as she thumbed through the book of spells laying out on the coffee table. "Can we practice making a potion while we're here? I can't seem to get it right when I'm at home"

"Why of course Wednesday, that's what we're here for!" Sadie smiled as she sat down next to her niece on the couch. 

Before anyone could get rightly situated there was another knock on the door. Sadie pouted as she stood to find out who would be so rudely intrusive while her precious niece and nephew were visiting. 

She opened the door to find a tall man on the other side who seemed to be in quite the hurry. 

"You've got to help me!" He exclaimed as he rushed into the living room. "It's just urgent that you help me! B

"Excuse me sir! Where are your manners?" Sadie asked huffing at the disheveled man.

"Yes, quite! Whom exactly are you and why should we take time out of our busy afternoon of leisurely drinking and unsafe firearms practices to help you?" Frank asked as he came to Sadie's side with a fresh martini. The two toasted and downed their inebriates whilst waiting for the man to explain. 

"Sure of course, my apologies. My name is Hunter Stewart and I've come here because I've been bitten!" The man explained as he held up his arm where a ragged and bloody wound was present. 

"Cool!" Wednesday and Pugsley exclaimed in unison. 

"Now mister Stewart, what exactly bit you? And why are you under the impression we can help you with this predicament?" Sadie asked inspecting the wound a little further. 

"It was a zombie! You know, a member of the undead? I was working in the grave yard and he burst straight from the ground and bit my arm!"

"And now you fear you'll be turning into said creature?" Sadie asked as she motioned for Hunter to sit down.

"Why yes ma'am. I can already feel the transformation happening! My blood is turning cold and I have an awful craving..."

"Here sport! I can fix that! A little drink to calm your nerves?" Frank offered the man a drink.

"No thanks, I don't drink."

Frank and Sadie gasped. "Frank! I fear he is worse off than originally anticipated!"

"Can we shoot him?" Wednesday asked hopefully. 

"Not just yet but if things escalate further I will let you do the honors, " Frank smiled. Wednesday high fived her brother and crossed her fingers for things to take a turn for the worse. 

"Oh Frank, look! He is making the transition!" 

Sure enough Hunter Stewart was slowly transitioning into a full out zombie complete with glazed eyes and foaming mouth. His nails grew into jagged claws as his previously proper posture gave way to that of a hunchback and his speech slurred to form only one audible request, "Bwains!"

"Now see here mister Stewart! I just had this rug cleaned and I will not have you making a mess in my home! Do you understand me?" Sadie declared as she shook her finger angrily at the newly transformed walking corpse near her chaise. 

"Bwains!" Repeated the zombie. 

"Booooo!" Sadie hissed as she pulled the children behind the bar away from the encroaching man.

"Well Wednesday, seems like now is the time for target practice!" Frank reminded as his niece pulled the gun from the cigar box. "Now be careful to avoid shooting any bottles of liquor! They are far more valuable than anything else in this apartment, save for Sadie of course!"

"Of course darling," Sadie smiled as she relinquished her glass of it's liquid. 

Wednesday aimed the gun and unloaded three shots into the zombie's skull. He went down without any further resistance. 

"Well done darling!" Sadie cheered. "Toast to that!" She and Frank toasted another drink before going to inspect the dead body in the middle of the living room. 

"Can we keep it?" Pugsley asked as he poked at the corpse. 

"Heaven's no darling. We must dismember the body to prevent it from coming back again," Sadie reminded as Pugsley frowned. 

The four went to work chopping the remains of the late mister Stewart apart and disposed of them in the fireplace. That is, all but one piece. 

"Look Auntie! His hand is still moving!" Wednesday exclaimed as she watched the dismembered hand walk across the floor in bewilderment. 

"So it is! Well children would you like to keep it as a pet?"

"Sure! We can call him Thing!" Pugsley announced as he shook hands with the body part to introduce himself. 

The team finished disposing of the body and Sadie tucked the children into bed before joining Frank for a final nightcap. 

"Frank?"

"Yes Sadie love?"

"Do you ever think about having children of our own?"

"Only sometimes darling. But it would not be fair to them"

"How so darling?"

"Why Sadistic, I only have eyes for you! I could never love another nearly as much, not even a child"

"Oh Frank."

"I love you, Sadie Parker Knickerhouse Doyle"

"I love you too, Frankenstein"

Clink.


End file.
